Anna Is Looking Forward To Her Senior Year In Atlanta, Where She Has A Great Job, A Loyal Best Friend, And A Crush On The Verge Of Becoming Which Is Why She Is Less Than Thrilled About Being Shipped Off To Boarding School In Paris Until She Meets Tienne St Clair Smart, Charming, Beautiful, Tienne Has It Allincluding A Serious Girlfriend But In The City Of Light, Wishes Have A Way Of Coming True Will A Year Of Romantic Near Misses End With Their Long Awaited French Kiss No thanks..Watch my full review here When I was four, I fell off a tree I hit the ground face first What I didn t know was that there was a very small, sharp root sticking out of the ground at the base of the tree It went through my cheek I went to the ER but had to wait until 2am because it was a busy night I sat there for hours in that ER with a hole in my cheek When the doctor finally saw me he thought that since it was a busy night and there were so many people in the ER that he would just sew up my cheek without having to wait for an anesthetic And he did He sewed my cheek back together with no pain relief I have never experienced pain like that again in my life Until now Anna and the French Kiss was painful than that night in hospital It is a lifeless, desolate, lump of a novel Its only purpose in this world is as a gauge by which we measure bad novels This is the bottom of the gauge and Twilight is at the top Anna is the stupidest person I ve ever come across in fiction She is a self confessed film buff and hopes to one day become America s leading film critic She obviously must know A LOT about film then eh sigh She s a supposed film buff but yet knows nothing of Paris PARIS The home of fucking film At one point in the novel she is genuinely SURPRISED that Paris has cinemas FUCKING CINEMAS How can she be so incredibly ignorant of the place where film was fucking invented and know literally nothing of French cinema BUT YET call herself a fan of film Ridiculous She eventually actually goes to the cinema a couple of times but lo and behold what does she watch American films She in the home of film and she watches American films I can t deal with this girl Oh but let us for one second talk about the love interest Mr My Name Is So French It s Borderline Racist tienne St Clair He is literally every male love interest YA cliche rolled into one festering tumour of a character He s American BUT has a British accent, he has messy hair BUT his room is meticulously clean, he s book smart, smells nice and is probably the Second Coming of Christ He is UNBEARABLE He s like Augustus Water but this guy doesn t have the common courtesy to die at the end How rude.I hated everything about this novel It felt unresearched, rushed, and in places, dumbed down It is written in a style that I can only describe as unemployed Sex and the City screen writer I wish this novel came with a warning, Keep out of reach of children, and teenagers, and adults, dogs, garden gnomes, your grandmother, school janitors, priests, gibbons, and especially anybody who lives in Paris because this novel is an insult to their city.I ll finish with a quote from one of my favourite film critics Roger Ebert who gets a mention in this novel and I m pretty sure he s turning in his grave because of it I ll manipulate the quote a bit but the sentiment still prevails This book doesn t scrape the bottom of the barrel This book isn t the bottom of the barrel This book isn t below the bottom of the barrel This book doesn t deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels. This book is adorable, I m not gonna lie Wealthy white teenagers having first world problems Anna, the valiant, is plucked from Georgia and abandoned by her parents at a boarding school for rich American teens living in Paris, where she collapses into tears at the injustice of it all.Intrigued That s only the beginning of this incredible tale.Sadly, my hopes for a dramatic twist of the Taken variety came to naught as the entire novel progressed without a single gun fight, kidnapping, or car chase, although at one point Anna s dream guy vomits on her.In fact, every plot twist for Anna and the French Kiss seems to have been lifted directly from r firstworldproblems Chapter 1 Girl meets boy the plot thickens.Chapter 2 Girl wants to order some delicious Parisian food, but does not speak French and is too embarrassed to ask for it in English even though everyone here speaks English.Chapter 3 French is like such a hard language.Chapter etc There s some guy in Atlanta who wears skinny jeans below his bony arse, and she likes him soooooo much, but he doesn t like her, and he screwed her best friend instead.Almost immediately after landing in Paris and commencing to wallow, Anna falls in love with literally the first male she encounters, mainly because of his hair, which I imagine looks something like this If that weren t enough, this irresistible man creature of Anna s dreams also has an English accent, speaks French omg omg omg , and is approximately five feet tall Unfortunately though, he s craven, and Anna s a moron, so they spend the rest of the book awkwardly not touching each other s genitals Ah, the plights of the teenager Seriously though, this book is cute, and unintentionally funny, and will make you feel well disposed towards the world The GoodExcellent description of culture shock on return to America.The BadThe characters are adorable, but ultimately retarded The UglySo much teen angst, so much crying, so much drama. 5 BRILLIANT STARS One lovely word tienneSweet sweet sweet.I might just have fallen in love.This story equals exactly Friday night rain outside chick flick Skittles chocolate popcorn comfortable couch lovely boyfriend friends HEAVEN 10 Things You ll Find 1 A main character that has personality2 A swoon worthy love interest3 Some beautiful friendly relationships4 Secondary characters that are truly unforgettable5 A setting you won t resist it s Paris, guys, PARIS 6 A plot that doesn t lack of originality7 Lovely humour that makes a delightful atmosphere8 A than pleasant writing style that doesn t do repetition9 No moment of boredom 10 A new favourite series to fangirl over Such a relaxing and absolutely worth reading story I m very picky with my contemporaries, since I had so many bad experiences and try to learn from them and avoid subjects I don t feel comfortable reading about such as raping, cheating, polygamy, etc Those were only examples, doesn t mean the story contains all of them That s why I waited so much before reading this That, and the negative reviews.I first discovered it last year and heard that there is cheating in the story which made me wince a little A lot, actually At first, I didn t want to even slightly touch it But, at the same time, people cheating on others happens frequently in our society so, not tolerating those kind of situations in my reads made me realize that I get quite limited on books I can read So I got passed that To be honest, the cheating in this book did not bother me that much because 1 it was realistic, 2 the guy was a dick and 3 means the girl concerned was then free of the guy in question Of course, it isn t pretty but it s not that dramatic or taking many many pages.Except for that cheating situation I was referring to above, it s really the kind of read that will make you smile and smile and smile some , but also feel concerned when necessary because, even though it s light overall, there are some scenes here and there that are serious and sad, but not unbearably sad.Another thing that I really appreciated was the fact that I actually learned new information about authors especially For example, I had no idea the author of The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint Exup ry, died in a plane crash How awful but pertinent information to learn, in my opinion Anything concerning authors of classics is pertinent to my eyes Very recommended, especially to every YA contemporary romance fan out there You may also enjoy Wish You Were Italian.Bonne lecture Art source. Update after reading this book for the THIRD time Etienne ETIENNE The boy of my dreams wellsecond place after Will Herondale, but still, that s a high honor Stephanie Perkins is one of my favorite YA contemporary writers as she has this way of writing books which really sound SO cheesy plot and title wise that leaves you in a puddle of happy tears and hormones after the last page This book has an inexplicable quality that even after reading the book multiple times, I can fall in love with the characters again and again and it feels like the first time The best romance book I ve ever read This read is not only completely and utterly adorable, it is incredibly relatable and witty I love how Stephanie Perkins wrote each character and how all of the characters will tie together in her three books I can t wait for Isla and the Happily Ever After to come out This is one of the cutest feel good teen romances I have ever read It has a bit of everything that you want humour, a likeable protagonist and a completely swoon worthy guy called Etienne St Clair You could fall in love with the name alone, even without the fact that he s sweet, kind, honest and nothing at all like any of the English boys I grew up with It s a very cute book, a very nice book, neither is a bad thing but if I start mentioning words like cute and nice in a review you can guarantee two things a I liked it b It s not a 5 star novel.I do understand completely why people love it, but it was nothing new or unusual and didn t take me to new places emotionally or intellectually I m not trying to discourage people from reading it, in fact I would greatly stress that it is a delightful experience, very very pleasant to read and never challenging or mind boggling at all I spent my entire Sunday completely submerged in it s sweet romantic pages and could have sighed with contentment at the end There are problems during the novel but everything works out, everyone s happy and no one dies It s the exact opposite of the novels Anna s dad writes.Anna is a simple average teenage girl who finds herself shipped off to an American boarding school in Paris despite the trip to France, most female readers will relate to Anna all she really wants at this point in her life is to hang out with friends, kiss a hot boy and get asked to prom and eventually go to college It s hard to define exactly what it is I love about Anna, but I understood her and recognised a lot of what she felt from my own experiences during high school Though I like characters that are new and different, Anna s familiarity made her all the relatable and likeable.Also, Etienne St Clair is damn sexy Even though I m immune to the English accent thing because I live here, with the exception of Spike in Buffy I completely fell for the guy It s so so nice and refreshing to have a male love interest who isn t a douche I ve missed that And Etienne is adorable, he even blushes So maybe he happens to be a little unrealistic But if you want honest depictions of the teenage male, you can read some Melina Marchetta, which I would highly recommend that you do But this novel wasn t about honesty, it was about enjoyment I get that and I appreciate it Thank you Ms Perkins for such a lovable read Blog Leafmarks Facebook Twitter Instagram Tumblr Edited to Add a Disgruntled Reader s Reply at the Bottom Apparently, I don t know how to write reviews.The best thing about this book The end.I don t read chick lit In fact, I avoid it like the plague But this book received rave reviews from every single person on my friendlist So I thought, hey, why not Maybe this won t be like the formulaic Mary Kate and Ashley movies my teachers made me watch in first grade Maybe Anna will be smart and witty And maybe Etienne will be awesome I m too optimistic Like The Duff, this book suffers from wish fulfillment don t tell me this book is realistic I beg to differ It s a fantasy And there s nothing wrong with that, except when the protagonist is a self righteous, hypocritical bitch I ve never been able to relate to rich annoying white girls, which is rather strange, considering that 40% of my K 12 experience was spent with them I can relate to wizards, dragon riders, and thieves, but not this special brand of Mary Sue She s a combination of a Relationship Sue, a Black Hole Sue, and she s something of an Anti Sue.http tvtropes.org pmwiki pmwiki.phphttp tvtropes.org pmwiki pmwiki.phphttp tvtropes.org pmwiki pmwiki.phpAnna also has an extreme case of dickmatization I love that word If you re reading, thank you for introducing it to me Princess Dickmatized When a girl can not concentrate on anything else because she is distracted with the DICK of her latest piece of ass Her work is jeopardized, she s a sell out to her girlfriends, she picks up his shit including his kids or whatever She will do whatever it takes for the DICK Even if the dick isn t all that great, she doesn t know the difference because she is dickmatized.If we take Anna out of the equation, this could be a decent book But as it stands, I can t bother to care about her petty melodramatic woes Don t get me wrong, the supporting cast wasn t bad, though they were carbon copies of every single cast from every other teen romantic comedy The author takes potshots at Nicholas Sparks for using cancer as a plot device, but she does the same thing If anything, at least Sparks is a little original He uses a different disease every single time It seems like Perkins watched a few Disney specials and decided to write a book staring Hillary Duff, Ashley Olsen, Mary Kate Olsen, a quirky original heroine And, judging by the positive reviews, she succeeded Well, if Stephenie Meyer doesn t get you, Stephanie Perkins will Anna is kind of like Miles Halter, from Looking for Alaska But Miles actually fits in with his group Anna is like a fanfiction writer s brilliant, but failed attempt, at creating an OC She attracts the attention of almost all the guys in the book, sans three her brother, her ex boyfriend, and Josh, the boyfriend of her friend She s beautiful and her arch enemy is the evil, slutty , rat faced Amanda She s a complete rip off of Lauren from, How to Be Popular And, coincidentally, Anna attracts the attention of Etienne St Clair, the hottest guy in school When he walks past, girls gape Right This is me rolling my eyes But wait, Etienne has a girlfriend Ellie Yup, Ellie is our contrived bullshit roadblock, the reason why our two fated lovers cannot be together.I d like to write a bit about conflict If your hero has a bitchy girlfriend and your MC is supposedly nice, he looks like an idiot when he stays with that girlfriend For a love triangle to work, there must be a valid reason as to why the girl or guy is caught in the middle of two people Demeaning one of the love interests is not only low, but it makes me think you were too afraid to write a real relationship that didn t revolve around cliches and tropes.It s rather humorous that every girl Anna dislikes is evil and every guy she dislikes is either dirty, or a dick Yet her friends and true love St Clair himself, are clean, attractive, and ever so intelligent This is bullshit If this were a play, I d call it Anna and the French Dick.Let s get acquainted with the rest of our cast Ellie St Clair s girlfriend She s plain and doesn t appreciate her friends which is why Anna is better than her Bridgette She s Anna s bestfriend She also steals Anna s boyfriend Amanda Blonde Bitchy Catty Slutty Give me a fucking break Meredith Sporty, smart, in love with St Clair Amanda calls her a dyke I hated Anna for using her and abusing their friendship Heads up Do not abandon your friends for a guy Especially when you know that your friend likes that guy You are a bitch if you don t have the guts to talk to her and explain that the guy likes you, not her Hmm sounds like Anna s beef with Bridgette Moving on Anna Judgmental Hypocritical Self righteous Brunette Yeah She basically shits on everyone who doesn t agree with her, or who stands in the way of St Clair s dick Her quirk She knows a lot of shit about old movies It was contrived and I didn t get half of the movies she namedropped John Green, you do it better Josh A mouthpiece for how awesome St Clair is According to him, when you flirt with two girls, even if you have a girlfriend, you re not leading them on.Etienne St Clair Resident Marty Stu His mother is dying from cancer His father is evil Every guy in school wants to be him Every girl wants to date him Every guy he doesn t like is evil And he s the most attractive guy in the world Even the way he chews gives Anna an orgasm It s pathetic His only flaw He s too much of a coward to dump his girlfriend But, honestly, that s only for the convenience of the plot Take Anna out of the picture, and I might have liked St Clair if the author didn t use Josh as a mouthpiece for how awesome he is.David A dick He liked Anna.Toph A dick He liked Anna.Matt Anna s ex He s a slob.Rashmi Our token PoC She has no relevance to the plot other than to be our shipper on deck In another story, I would ve liked her In this book, she s only there to make Anna feel better than Ellie Not only does Perkins fail to wrap up Anna s conflict with her parents something even Kody Keplinger, who s debut was like a mash up of All American Girl and Perfect You, managed to do but she also delivered two very special messages in the last fifty pages We get some bullshit slut shaming is wrong message, though Anna spent 300pgs whining about how unfair her life was when Ellie, that plain girl, was sleeping with St Clair, and in the first 50pgs, she made a remark about Amanda s cleavage Then we get two paragraphs of gay is okay I know that making fun of gay people is wrong And I know that slut shaming is wrong I don t need you, Perkins, to step on your soapbox and convince me that Anna is a beautiful PC person like PC Cast does with Zoey Redbird.Never again will I fall prey to the hype Granted, this is romantic fluff, but that s no excuse The writing was decent, but give me Sara Zarr, Sarah Dessen, or Elizabeth Scott over Stephanie Perkins Hell, I d rather read the entire Twilight Saga than read this again.In case you couldn t tell, I didn t like this book 1.5 stars Date Comment Deleted 12 4 11Commentator V Arrow aimmyarrowshigh Reason Apparently, I don t know how to write a valid criticism of a contemporary romance.Comment If you have never taken a class on media criticism and I d venture that you haven t the first rule of critique is that you should judge within the same genre and for its intent and purpose The genre of this book is YA contemp romance Does it fulfill a romantic plotline without straying into age inappropriate issues Yes It fulfills the genre criteria The main audience of YA contemp romance middle class and upper middle class English speaking girls between 14 54 Does this book cohesively create a fictional construct that would reflect and be recognizable in their world Yes There is nothing wrong with a book about first world problems when the purpose and intent of the book is to be a romance for teenagers Insofar as actual criticism, Anna and the French Kiss is tantamount to being a perfect example of its genre and fulfilling the purpose for its audience So again the question begs if you knew you would not like it, and did not know how to adequately and maturely review it after choosing to read something you were predisposed to disliking, why bother My reply I write contemporary romance I write romcoms I think I know a little about the common tropes found in the genre I ve read almost every popular romcom script and written lengthy reviews for several popular bromances I was actually going to major in Film before I realized my university only offered media arts, at which point I decided to choose Architecture I d wager that V needs to do a little bit research on me before she decides to comment on my reviews Regardless of the genre, a novel shouldn t make use of old boring tropes without trying to apply any sort of originality to them This read like a re hash of every single bad teen movie I ve ever seen And, frankly, that s tiring Even worse It adds nothing new to the genre Now, romcoms are very formulaic, but that s no excuse 500 Days of Summer was a success because it added an extra dimension to Boy Meets Girl, Boy Loses Girl, Boy Gets Girl Back.Now, instead of getting upset at my criticism, I suggest that if V wants to comment here again, she looks at the points I made and tries to debate those instead of getting in a huff over a book she rated five stars receiving negative criticism Because, really, telling me that I don t know how to review is rather dim when she doesn t know how to have a proper debate By the way, all of the books I referenced in this review are vastly superior contemporary romances Also, I will never understand the if you don t like it, don t read it argument, as I m not a mind reader I ve read books and scripts I didn t expect to like Legally Blonde and I came away thoroughly impressed So, no, that argument is not valid. I found this onlineNOW WHY COULDN T THIS BE THE ACTUAL COVER St Clair St Clair St Clair St Clair St Clair St Clair St Clair St Clair St Clair St Clair St Clair St Clair St Clair St Clair St Clair St Clair St Clair St Clair St Clair St Clair ST CLAIR Can t I just fill this review with his name instead of explaining how much I effing LOVED this book and trying to describe in vivid detail how beautiful and amazing and gorgeous and sexy and adorable and cute and sweet and perfect and totally smoking HAWT St Clair is Asdfghjkl this is me being speechless I just I loved, loved, LOVED this book I m positively utterly, totally, absolutely completely, undeniably IN LOVE with this book Just thinking about it makes me giddy Seriously It makes me wonder why don t my parents send me to France I want to find my own Etienne, dammit Sigh Just thinking his name makes me swoon.Okay, I m probably acting like an annoying fangirl right now, but can you blame me I ll try to keep this review short, before I go into complete fangirl mode which scares even me.I loved the characters Every single one of them They weren t there just to paint the background, they all had depth and each a different personality Anna was an awesome MC She was so amusing and comical, even when she was angry you kind of want to annoy her just to see her reaction She has a wonderful dad who cares if he d a dick He sent her to freaking PARIS And he meant WELL who sends her to School of America in Paris SOAP , which is a boarding school There, she meets a couple of students Meredith, Josh, Rashmi, aaaaaand St Clair swoon who immediately befriend her Unfortunately or fortunately she starts having feelings toward the totally gorgeous, off limits Etienne St Clair okay, I ve learned to say his name without completely hyperventilating, that s progress Not only does he have a serious girlfriend, but Meredith the one who immediately befriended Anna and was kind and helpful to her from the beginning is also crushing on St Clair I totally get Anna I mean, DUDE, HE HAS A BRTISH ACCENT And he speaks French That alone should make you fall in love with him within the first five minutes of meeting him If only he were real le sigh I would positively run to Paris, find him, snatch him away from Anna, grab his hand and run like hell Which is sort of kidnapping and illegal, but WHO CARES I mean, he s St Clair Totally understandable pout BUT HE S NOT REAL BAWLS Gah, he s just so perfect in this totally realistic way And so sweet did I already say that His love for his mother and friends makes me love him.I need to stop I m already feeling light headed and woozy from thinking about it Don t worry, normal symptom after reading this book So, yeah Read it, if you haven t already Don t let the blurb fool you, it might sound clich , but there is NOTHING clich about this book It unique and one of the best books I ve ever read.Sigh Gosh I better stop or I ll start blabbering Anna France French kissssssss Paris St Clair St Clair St Clair St Clair I LOVE YOUUUUU patting myself on the back for having so much self control I hope the companion novel is just as good as this Please make it good, Mrs Stephanie Perkins I will forever be your slave.Oh, and I have a sneaking suspicious that the third book will be about Isla Martin and Josh.BTW, this is my version of St Clair ISN T HE YUMMY I love you as certain dark things are loved,in secret, between the shadow and the soul. So, Anna is forced to go to boarding school in Paris I know Poor chica and she crushes on a guy who already has a girlfriend They flirt and obsess over each other while he is still dating the other girl To add icing to Anna s miserable cake, she is then forced to get mad at her friend who does something despicable her friend dates a boy that Anna thought liked her instead Life is just not fair I gave this book one star because 1 Anna is a whiny hypocrite who has very different ideas about who she s allowed to date kiss and who everyone else is allowed to date kiss It s simple she can kiss and flirt with anyone even if they have a girlfriend or she has a boyfriend no one else can do the same 2 Also, the girl is in France and is a huge film fanatic Yet all she does is watch a bunch of American movies In France Because we all know French cinema has nothing at all to offer a film critic wannabe 3 St Clair is the worst kind of jerk the kind of jerk who is under the misapprehension that he is actually a nice guy And everyone else is under that impression as well.4 The book is written in present tense which is weird, especially for such a generic storyline 5 The book is boring I can t even make myself hate it In a couple of days, when I get over the time I wasted in reading it, I will probably forget about it altogether.
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- 372 pages
- Anna and the French Kiss
- Stephanie Perkins
- 14 September 2019 Stephanie Perkins