I'm the One That I Want

I'm the One That I WantI m glad that Margaret Cho told her story It s a brave story about living for too long not valuing herself, and descending into various addictions and unhealthy relationships This wasn t bad, but I never really connected with it I m not really sure why this is was It could ve been due to the writing, the lack of detail in the vignettes, or because I didn t find this as humorous as I thought that I would. Margaret Cho expands upon the material of her popular stand up routine and film of the same name in this memoir Less outrageously funny and downright sad in many instances, Cho writes about her lonely childhood and the odd jobs she worked at the beginning of her stand up career She discusses her career ups and downs, her experiences with drugs, sex, and alcohol, and her family with the fearlessly honest tone that permeates her comedy persona. Yeaaaah, I m not sure why this is in the categories Humor or Comedy I mean, sure, Margaret Cho is a comedian, but the book itself isn t comedic It has comedic touches, but it s overall a pretty serious account of her life leading up to her career taking off.Content warnings oh boy drug addictionalcoholismsexual harassmentrapegendered slurstransphobia transphobic slurs homophobic slursfatshamingracism in book ableismI wanted to like this so bad My mother loves Margaret Cho, and although I ve never seen any of her stand up, I ve heard such great things about her comedy that I just wanted to fall in love with her voice And, I mean, I did sympathize with her cycles of self sabatoge and making light of her sufferings something I do too , and the very ending of the book was so hopeful and inspirational that I was left feeling rosy eyed about everything.But she fat shamed people in the book, she used transphobic slurs, homophobic slurs, etc And not just once, but several, several times I know Margaret Cho isn t straight, but continually using the f word made me on the verge of closing the book and picking something else up She also seems to have a strange infatuation with gay men that seems bordering fetishization Again I m not very familiar with Margaret Cho, but it made me very uncomfortable.So while the ending was great, and I have nothing against her actual journey, the writing and language really put me off. I am always interested in memoirs by famous people Tracking their path to fame is usually enlightening and entertaining.I ve found that books by comics are particularly difficult to read So much of their entertainment value comes from non verbal communications This was true of Cho as well The book felt flat to me, and it was disjointed, jumping from timeframe to timeframe with no particular rhyme or reason While many of the anecdotes conveyed were interesting, I had trouble following along As a result, I stopped about halfway through It was just too confusing for me, though I value her story and experiences.For the light of heart you may want to avoid this book It s quite graphic in parts and she doesn t hold back on the sex, drugs or rock n roll. The book begins with some very painful childhood experiences she was not just bullied, she was reviled Even at a church sponsored summer camp, she was traded off by girls who should have been her friends, but sought social acceptance by joining in Margaret s Moran s humiliation There are no adults around to intercede Her parents seem to agree with the world s negative opinion of her It is no surprise that she drops flunks out of school and finds companionship among those in society s other outcast groups.There are many raw examples of what was wrong with her life For this reason, the book is probably censored away from the many badgered and taunted teenage girls who could use these reality lessons to understand the dynamics that are working against them Margaret figures it out finally after some real hard knocks lessons.I read this in succession with Steve Martin s memoir about his stand up career Born Standing Up A Comic s Life In contrast, Margaret s book is much intimate, informative and graphic While Steve says it s lonely on the road Margaret describes it The vignettes about finding a room around Fordham, driving on black ice, the booing in Monroe and the off duty bell hop, and give the reader a real feel for what happens Similarly, she describes how TV pilots are made from the business meeting with the humorless executives who decide what comedy shows will fly, to the high priority on the actress s weight, to the lack of interaction of the star and the writers Martin reveals none of his experiences here.This book is raw and real Fortunately it has an affirming ending for the reader, but especially for Margaret. I was a bit disappointed that it was forgotten so easily, but I learned something very important that day When you are on a stage and you wave, people wave back This information would become very important for me later on I was stoic, silent, nonviolent even back then I didn t pay attention But I stayed at that same school for five years, which is forever when you are a kid, and I must admit, it wore me down I think I lost something there an interior brightness The luster and the silver lining and the Tootsie Roll center and the brave one in me went far underground, now surfacing, twisted, perverted, deformed, with a dowager s hump and a bad nervous tic, but tougher still Since I didn t really have friends who I was not related to, and the kids that were cruelest to me were other Koreans, my entire world was an exercise in not belonging It started with my name I was born Moran Cho Moran is a Korean name, meaning peony flower, a plant that blooms even in the harshest winter Lonliness became familiar and easy I played Chopsticks alone on the piano, and learned to love every solitary note Homosexuality brought me back to men, made me see they could be trusted, and even loved I ve never stopped feeling this way It was like the Birds and the Bees and the Butterflies Drag queens are strong because they have so much to fight against homophobia, sexism, pinkeye While no woman wants to be thought of as a hag, you must acknowledge that the gay man in your life is not concerned with your youth or beauty He wants to know your soul He loves you for your courage and intellect Whether you are lovely or plain, you are beautiful to him for these qualities and many Tricks are always much trouble than they are worth That is why, every Halloween, when I am asked Trick or Treat, I always err on the side of chocolate Yes, it s true I do live in paradise Performing, which was such a secret wish, the truest desire of my heart, was what I was forced to choose when the dreams of my parents were turning into nightmares In the beginning, I disappointed everyone, except myself I stayed an addict out of fear, fear that this was my life, and that I couldn t escape without stoner sleepwalking my way through it When the crowd is with you, the jokes are fresh, your timing is just right, and the moon is in the seventh house and Jupiter aligns with Mars You feel like you are exactly where you should be, and there is nothing better Comedy is a rare gift from the gods, an awesome invention It propels you right into the heart of the universe We must know who we are, so we can know what we want, so we don t end up wanting the wrong thing and get it and realize we don t want it, because by then it is too late We are powerful enough that we can manifest anything into our lives To use this power with great care and love is the secret to living a happy life I wish I had known this then Never trust a straight guy who does makeup unless he does the aliens on Star Trek Why was I so tough It was because I wasn t just looking for a job, I was looking for some self worth I constantly looked outside myself for something that would fix me, and it was a desperate search Life is so terrible when you think there is nothing to look forward to I thought that misery was my only option What hurt most was that it was not a body part I could hide There was no girdle or minimizer for your face It is the part of you that cannot be changed or denied or altered It is the very essence of you How did I not want to hide my face forever Comedian Icon TV Star Role Model Trash Talker Fag Hag Gypsy Tramp Thief Margaret Cho Displays Her Numerous Sides In This Funny, Fierce, And Honest Memoir As One Of The Country S Most Visible Asian Americans, She Has A Unique Perspective On Identity And Acceptance As One Of The Country S Funniest And Most Quoted Personalities, She Takes No Prisoners And As A Warm And Wise Woman Who Has Seen The Highs And Lows Of Life, She Has Words Of Encouragement For Anyone Who Has Ever Felt Like An Outsider With I M The One That I Want, Margaret Cho Has Written A Book Every Bit As Hilarious, Shocking, And Insightful As She Is I really like Margaret Cho, and I liked the idea of this book, mostly from the self empowerment title It wasn t exactly what I was expecting Less funny, and a lot dark and depressing A lot of the book focuses on her addiction to drugs and alcohol, and her self image issues And if it was a fictional book, I would probably have got frustrated with her as a protagonist and told her to get over it But it was real, and she really went through it, and I can see why some people are put off the book because of it.However, the ending justified it all it was the self empowerment that I was looking for My only complaint is that it felt like the final two chapters were tacked on the end as a last minute afterthought, 10 pages to lighten the mood after 150 pages of darkness and misery.Luckily, for me it still worked for the most part The only part I found a struggle was the last 40 or so pages By that point, I was ready for her to be over the drugs, and it felt like she was too it felt like there was a lot less detail, and a lot of just retreading the same ground But as I said, it was worth it then for the conclusion that came of it I just wish there was a bit focus on it read 18 12 2014 28 12 2014 I m the one that I want by Margaret Cho is one of the funniest books I ve read It s a halarious story of how she was raised by drag queens, was thrown into show business, and how cruel the real world can be Cho shows her true strength in how she was able to over come critical managers, tv directors, and her audience When she was very young she starred in a tv show about being Asian in America Everything was going well until she was informed by her manager that she was too fat to play herself Cho struggled with eating disorders, depression, and drug use She attempted to find comfort in jumping from man to man, trying to fing love where ever she could Eventually, she woke up one day and knew she had to change She kicked her drug and alcohol habbit and started on the road to success Margaret is now a very popular comedian Her set consists of her looking back on those horrible times and giving them a commical twist She really has made the best out of a bad situation. The written version of Cho s fabulously funny and now classic one woman show, this book is alternately hilarious and excruciating A lot of the material will be familiar to those who know Cho s act though she left out the lesbian cruise Where s MY parade bit WHY , but there s also lots and lots and lots and lots of Cho s struggles with body issues, with drugs, with disastrously low self esteem I appreciate that Cho went through all of that, and that she overcame it, but it is painful to read about, especially when for much of the book, the balance is toward here are all the horrible things that happened to me and how shitty I felt about myself rather than and here s what I learned how I moved beyond it all Ultimately, unlike the show, this book is not comedic, it s depressing it made me feel bad Which doesn t in the least make this a book that shouldn t have been written, but does make it one that I don t really want to read.

Margaret Cho is an American comedian, fashion designer and actress Cho is known for her stage performances, recordings, and concert movies Her shows are a mixture of her comedy stylings with strong political and cultural commentary Apart from these shows she has also directed and appeared in music videos, and started her own clothing line She has frequently supported gay rights and identifies

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  • Paperback
  • 228 pages
  • I'm the One That I Want
  • Margaret Cho
  • English
  • 14 January 2019
  • 9780345440143

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